False Origin Stories – Part 1

I love to tell my kids about how something works, or how something came to be. However, my explanations are often fictitious. I like to make my story as ridiculous as I possibly can…so that there will be no way that they will take me seriously I know I’ve done my job properly when I get a huge eye-roll.

The following is based on one of the tall tales that I told a few years back

If you like rock music, you like the electric guitar. However, we did not always have electric guitars (or, for that matter, electricty). In those pre-electric days, rock musicians would turn to steam powered guitars. They were LOUD (as all steam powered machines are)…and with the steam they generated, fog machines weren’t necessary either!

The biggest drawback of the steam-guitar was their lack of portability as they needed to be connected to a massive boiler and coal burner. Another issue was that nore than a few guitarists suffered severe burns from playing their instruments without wearing asbestos gloves (although these gloves were highly recommended by the guitar manufacturers, this instruction was rarely ever followed – if you’ve ever tried to play a stringed instrument while wearing gloves, you’ll understand why!)

Early environmentalists also raised objections about the excessive amount of fossil fuels being consumed to power the instruments, so when inventors discovered how to harness electricity, it was only natural for steam-guitars to be phased out in favour of the “greener” option of electric guitars. However, without steam-guitars, we would have never had [steam] punk rock!

An ode to my nose

I must admit I really love my nose
It isn’t just a lump upon my face
It helps me when I want to smell a rose
And for my glasses is a resting place
It has two holes upon its bottom side
That let me breathe (and breathing’s good for me)
It’s not too narrow, nor is it too wide
Without my nose I don’t know where I’d be
And here’s a fact that might have you surprised –
A fact about my nose that you’ll find slick:
The holes I mentioned are both finger sized
Which makes it something that is fun to pick!
I bet that last line grossed you out. I knew it
In this poem ’bout my nose…I guess I blew it.

For NaPoWriMo… The prompt today is love sonnets