10,000 for Christmas

Thank you, dear readers. As of today (Christmas Day), I reached 10,000 views for the year on my blog, making this by far my best year to date by over 2500 views. I could not have done this without my fabulous readers, both those who only found me recently, and those who have been following me for a few years.

Once again, thank you!

Last Minute Shopping

Christmas shopping at the mall
I don’t know why I go at all
With lineups stretched from wall to wall
At this rate I’ll be here ’til Fall!

I’ll spend a thousand bucks or more
before I leave this crazy store
and it’s just one of 3 or 4
before I see my own front door

I need to find things for my boy
to fill him up with mirth and joy
some fancy game or nifty toy
(he’ll break it in a week, oy oy!)

I really only want to leave
why do I shop on Christmas Eve?

No Room

along a dusty road they trod,
a woman, donkey, man
they longed to rest their weary bones
when they reached Bethlehem

the man on foot held on the rope
to lead the laden beast
he hoped that soon, they could sit down
to sup upon a feast

the donkey plodded steady on
in hopes that soon the day
would come to end and he could rest
upon a bit of hay

the woman, on the donkey’s back
was gasping, for she knew
that they would barely reach the inn
before her babe was due

and when they fin’ly reached the place
where they would spend the night,
the trio, man, and woman, beast
were shown a dismal sight:

the inn was full, no room to spare
no matter how they plead
for not one guest was willing now
to give up of their bed

the keeper of the inn looked at
the couple, weary, worn
and said, “I have not room for you
except, there is the barn…”

and Joseph said they’d try next door
but Mary said, “we’ll stay,”
and then to Joseph said the words
“The baby’s on the way”

and so it came to pass, that night
that in a barn of sod
the King of all the world was born
the precious Son of God

Twelve Days: For the Birds

twelve days of Christmas
one hundred eighty four birds –
no longer true love

~~

about the math:
birds were the gifts on days 1,2,3,4,6, and 7. According to the song, each gift was also given on all subsequent days after the first day that it was given. Therefore:

one partridge every day from day 1 through 12 = 12
two turtle doves, days 2 to 12 = 22
three french hens, days 3-12 = 30
four calling birds, days 4-12 = 36
six geese a laying, days 6-12 = 42
seven swans a swimming, days 7-12 = 42
total = 184 birds

I don’t know many people that want that many birds.

Top 10 fears of the average reindeer

As Christmas approaches, many people think of things such as reindeer (known as caribou in some parts of the world).  Here is a bit of educational information on the top ten things that reindeer are afraid of.

10.  Wolves.
9.  Pixie Dust.  They’re afraid of heights.
8.  Yellow Snow
7.  Jell-o
6.  Being mistaken for caribou.
5.  The colour red
4.  Genetic experimentation that might cause their nose to turn red.
3.  Bells
2.  Slavery
1. Santa Clause (see A Reindeer’s Perspective)

Clem and Zeke plan a bit of huntin’

“Hey Clem, ya wanna go huntin’ this weekend?”

“Can’t, Zeke, Momma says I hafta stay home, bein’ Christmas and all.”

“That wife of yourn, she jis’ don’t understand a man’s need to catch some fresh meat out in the wild.  But don’t you worry none ’bout that, I got me a plan.”

“Careful, now, Zeke.  Momma’ll have me in the doghouse fer sure if she catches me sneakin’ out with you to go huntin’.”

“No problem at all, Clem, with my plan, you can go huntin’, and you don’t even have to leave the comforts of yer lil’ ol’ cabin.  We jis’ need to set a few traps and wait for the game to come to us.”

“Yer as crazy as a rabid ‘possum under a full moon.  Where in this town do ya think we can set a trap where the game’ll be, but where lil’ Cletus or Mary Beth won’t step and get their leg broke?  We’d both have a mob after us if we caused harm to any of those kids.”

“Ah, Zeke, that thar’s the genius part of my plan.  We’ll stick ’em on the roof!  It’s Christmas Eve, and Ol’ Santa’s gonna come by with a whole herd of critters.  But when it comes to mountin’ the trophies…I got dibs on the one with the red nose.”

Rush

the metronome weight
pushed to the very bottom –
prestississimo

~~

for Haiku Horizons‘ “rush” prompt.

For those who are not familiar with a mechanical metronome, the lower on the stem the weight is pushed, the faster the metronome ticks. In music, prestississimo means that if your fingers are not flying off of your hands, you are not playing fast enough (not the literal definition of the word, but close enough)