Number Seven

Because my top 10 lists always list “Jell-o” as item number 7, and because today is the 7th day of the 7th month, I figure that must make today “Jell-o Day!”

So…the top 10 things to do with… Jell-o

10. Hold debates about whether it is more correctly defined as a solid or a liquid.

9. Cut it into cubes and see who can suck all their cubes up the fastest (snarfing)

8. Explore medicinal potentiality. I have already ruled out using it as a band-aid.

7. Jell-o (of course)

6. Create landscapes out of mashed potatoes, and then put Jell-o on top. Once it melts, it will make lovely colourful lakes and rivers. (works best when the mashed potatoes are hot)

5. Take it door-to-door in dixie cups as a “fundraiser”

4. put it on the menu at your fancy restaurant, but simply refer to it as Number Seven.  If a patron asks what “number seven” is, give him or her your most condescending look and say, “Jell-o.  Of course.”

3. Mix it with celery. My wife claims that she went to a camp where celery was served with every meal. The fear of all the campers was that they would find celery in their Jell-o.

2. Just eat it.

1. Create an effigy of Donald Trump. Use orange Jell-o for the face, and anything you want for the toupee. Put it out in the sun on a hot day and take immense pleasure in watching The Donald melt before your eyes until nothing remains of him but a bad hair-do.

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