Because my top 10 lists always list “Jell-o” as item number 7, and because today is the 7th day of the 7th month, I figure that must make today “Jell-o Day!”
So…the top 10 things to do with… Jell-o
10. Hold debates about whether it is more correctly defined as a solid or a liquid.
9. Cut it into cubes and see who can suck all their cubes up the fastest (snarfing)
8. Explore medicinal potentiality. I have already ruled out using it as a band-aid.
7. Jell-o (of course)
6. Create landscapes out of mashed potatoes, and then put Jell-o on top. Once it melts, it will make lovely colourful lakes and rivers. (works best when the mashed potatoes are hot)
5. Take it door-to-door in dixie cups as a “fundraiser”
4. put it on the menu at your fancy restaurant, but simply refer to it as Number Seven. If a patron asks what “number seven” is, give him or her your most condescending look and say, “Jell-o. Of course.”
3. Mix it with celery. My wife claims that she went to a camp where celery was served with every meal. The fear of all the campers was that they would find celery in their Jell-o.
2. Just eat it.
1. Create an effigy of Donald Trump. Use orange Jell-o for the face, and anything you want for the toupee. Put it out in the sun on a hot day and take immense pleasure in watching The Donald melt before your eyes until nothing remains of him but a bad hair-do.