I’m a Canadian, so I will not be eligible to vote in the upcoming US election. However, I thought I would do a service to my American friends and outline the reasons why you should vote for The Donald
10. People with bad hairdos need a voice in Washington.
9. He’ll provide work for unemployed brick-layers in the construction of the Great Wall along your southern border.
8. You won’t need to worry about saying something stupid, as you will merely be following the example of your president.
6. He looks like he could launch a revival of the Three Stooges
5. The next president will be much better
4. You will no longer need to fear foreign spies on American soil…Trump’s mouth is so big that he’ll spill all of your nation’s secrets, so foreign governments won’t need to send any spies.
3. You will be able to proudly (and truthfully) proclaim, “my goldfish is smarter than the president!” (or if you don’t have a goldfish, substitute in “this piece of lint I found in my belly button” for “goldfish”)
2. Comedians won’t be in any danger of running out of material.
1. Canadians have long believed that Americans are less intelligent than we are. I’ve always believed this to be an unfair stereotype, but if you elect Trump, you would prove that this is no stereotype, but is indeed the truth.