NaPoWriMo Day 16: Rain

-rain-
starts slowly and pitter pats
against the windowpane
increasing the tempo
to a steady sound of whitenoise
punctuated
by the occassional flash of light
and grumbling thunder
eventually subsiding
to a drip
drip
drip
leaving the world
fresh scented
and clean
-rain-
we could sure use some
to settle down all this dust

~~

at dVerse, Anna wants us to think about the words we use. I tried to choose words that would, in their very sound, reflect the tone of what I am trying to say. Not sure how well I succeeded. I tried using words like “flash” – it’s a fairly quick word to say, just like the speed of lightning. Thunder, on the other hand, tends to last longer, so used a word that takes much longer to say…includingan “mm” sound that, in my mind, at least, sounds like the sound of thunder. I tried a few other onomatopoetic words in this as well. This idea of sound echoing sense is something that I have not really tried before, so I know I have a lot of room to improve!

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17 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo Day 16: Rain

  1. Even with blue skies and sunshine outside my window, I could hear the thunder storm and remember the rain that was pounding on my window just a few short days ago. Very nice. Peace, Linda

  2. Onomatopoeia is a great way for sound to reinforce meaning and create atmosphere. The staccato sounds here bring to mind the rain, nice.

  3. Onomatopoeia is a fine choice for poetic language; dVerse used it as a prompt years ago; makes your poem zing & zip with sheer fun.

  4. Ah.. rain.. rain.. rain… a dusty early April.. in Northwest Florida.. IS now turned into an over a week deluge of flooding rains.. rain.. rain .. rain.. where the only solution is getting wet or umbrella of covering rains of GOD’s Love.. as after all we are 90% or so RAINFULL! OF GOD’S REIGNING REINING RAINING LOVE!..;)

  5. You should try Japanese – they are full of onomatopeia! Being an auditive person, I absolutely love these type of words and wish we had more in other languages. For instance: Pata pata is the sound of wings flapping (or someone running through the house in slippers), pecha kucha is the sound of chitter-chatter, wata wata for faffing around in panic…
    But you’ve done a great job with ‘grumbling thunder’ – that’s slow and menacing, and the staccato of ‘pitter-pat on the window pane’.

  6. I especially like the “steady sound of whitenoise…punctuated by…grumbling thunder”. You captured the sounds so well, including the “drip, drip drip” echo.

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