NaPoWriMo Day 16: Rain

starts slowly and pitter pats
against the windowpane
increasing the tempo
to a steady sound of whitenoise
by the occassional flash of light
and grumbling thunder
eventually subsiding
to a drip
leaving the world
fresh scented
and clean
we could sure use some
to settle down all this dust


at dVerse, Anna wants us to think about the words we use. I tried to choose words that would, in their very sound, reflect the tone of what I am trying to say. Not sure how well I succeeded. I tried using words like “flash” – it’s a fairly quick word to say, just like the speed of lightning. Thunder, on the other hand, tends to last longer, so used a word that takes much longer to say…includingan “mm” sound that, in my mind, at least, sounds like the sound of thunder. I tried a few other onomatopoetic words in this as well. This idea of sound echoing sense is something that I have not really tried before, so I know I have a lot of room to improve!


17 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo Day 16: Rain

  1. Even with blue skies and sunshine outside my window, I could hear the thunder storm and remember the rain that was pounding on my window just a few short days ago. Very nice. Peace, Linda

  2. Onomatopoeia is a great way for sound to reinforce meaning and create atmosphere. The staccato sounds here bring to mind the rain, nice.

  3. Onomatopoeia is a fine choice for poetic language; dVerse used it as a prompt years ago; makes your poem zing & zip with sheer fun.

  4. Ah.. rain.. rain.. rain… a dusty early April.. in Northwest Florida.. IS now turned into an over a week deluge of flooding rains.. rain.. rain .. rain.. where the only solution is getting wet or umbrella of covering rains of GOD’s Love.. as after all we are 90% or so RAINFULL! OF GOD’S REIGNING REINING RAINING LOVE!..;)

  5. You should try Japanese – they are full of onomatopeia! Being an auditive person, I absolutely love these type of words and wish we had more in other languages. For instance: Pata pata is the sound of wings flapping (or someone running through the house in slippers), pecha kucha is the sound of chitter-chatter, wata wata for faffing around in panic…
    But you’ve done a great job with ‘grumbling thunder’ – that’s slow and menacing, and the staccato of ‘pitter-pat on the window pane’.

  6. I especially like the “steady sound of whitenoise…punctuated by…grumbling thunder”. You captured the sounds so well, including the “drip, drip drip” echo.

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