A young boy – on describing his first experience of being forced to wear a suit and tie – a paradelle for dVerse

they made me wear a straight-jacket
(they made me wear a straight-jacket)
although they called it a suit-coat
(although they called it a suit-coat)
a straight-suit called a jacket made they
although they coat me wear it

around my neck they placed a noose
(around my neck they placed a noose)
and tightened it around my throat
(and tightened it around my throat)
neck it around my tightened they
and a throat around my placed noose

it was so tight I could not breathe
(it was so tight I could not breathe)
and thoughts were scrambled in my head
(and thoughts were scrambled in my head)
my tight head thought I could breathe
and were it not so was scrambled in

scrambled jacket thought me wear a throat
I called a head a tightened tight
it placed and made my noose breathe straight
they coat my suit around was it
although they so were in my neck
and around it they could not

~~

today at dVerse, we are writing paradelles.  Paradelles are a parody of form poetry.  Although I enjoy writing form, I also love parody, so this was right up my alley!

Here’s some notes on the form:

The paradelle is a 4-stanza poem, where each stanza consists of 6 lines.
For the first 3 stanzas, the 1st and 2nd lines should be the same; the 3rd and 4th lines should also be the same; and the 5th and 6th lines should be composed of all the words from the 1st and 3rd lines and only the words from the 1st and 3rd lines.
The final stanza should be composed of all the words in the 5th and 6th lines of the first three stanzas and only the words from the 5th and 6th lines of the first three stanzas.

(I think I followed the rules correctly, but I may have accidentally omitted a word or included it an extra time…)

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “A young boy – on describing his first experience of being forced to wear a suit and tie – a paradelle for dVerse

  1. at least your noose was breathing straight…ha…oy, i remember having to wear a suit and tie…it was not fun…and will def scramble the brain cells…its why i escaped the corporate rat race…

  2. Ah yes, 30 years as a teacher in the VA., monkey suit time; now that I’m retired its jeans & t-shirts for me now; you don’t have to polish tennis shoes–we all, so far, like your line
    /it placed & made my noose breathe straight/.

  3. Ha ha, Bryan, you made me laugh. The dress code in France is very relaxed for teachers and students but I remember that when I was a student in England I had to wear a uniform and that I did not like it.

  4. Oh, I can really imagine how those suit coats can feel like straight-jackets. I don’t like to be so formal either. And it really is difficult to feel that one is unable to breathe. A vivid poem here, Bryan.

  5. this was quite an enjoyable read…while I’ve never had to wear a suit as such, I can understand the connection between straight-jacket and noose. oh…and what fun the scrambled head was…

  6. One gets tight around the neck. One might even choke and die while laughing. Such is the abhorrence of ‘neckies’ which alter the freedom of feel. Wonderful write Bryan

    Hank

Please Comment! Otherwise I won't know that you've been reading!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s