Hope

Grief is a turbulent ocean
that eventually overwhelms
even the greatest of swimmers.
It pulls them down
to the miry depths
and even should I manage
to struggle my way back to the surface,
I barely have time to take a breath
before the next wave slams me back down again

and yet,
despite a thousand tons of water
weighing me down, I do not drown completely

I am left to struggle…hoping…no…knowing
that before I am overwhelmed completely
this storm will pass,
and I will be able to surface,
and breathe once again.

~~

Today at dVerse, Claudia has asked us to write using bold metaphor (and avoiding weakening the metaphor with “like” or “as”).

In my last stanza, I originally wrote, “knowing…no…hoping“, but then chose to reverse the order of those words…for I know that even grief will lose its severity after time.  I was quite amazed at how much that small tweak changed the entire meaning of the poem.

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14 thoughts on “Hope

  1. hoping…no…knowing… yes… it makes a big difference as it puts the emphasis on the expectation that things will change for better… a raw and honest piece bryan

  2. This is such an evocative description of the weight and struggle of grief…that deep, unrelenting heaviness that smacks us down again and again. I like the change you made at the end….so very amazing how one word change, or switch in the order of words, can make such an incredibly huge difference in meaning. But, either way, this poem resonates deeply for me.

  3. Such an intense piece Bryan –

    Grief is a turbulent ocean
    that eventually overwhelms
    even the greatest of swimmers

    I loved the ascend from grief to hope. Beautifully done.

  4. grief is hard…and everyone has a story…and advice…but the journey through it is so different for everyone…and it does feel so heavy and pulling and then it lets you bob up…a bit of hope before the next pool…

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