Names

If you’re a parent soon to be

Beware of your last name

The moniker you give your child

Could spell disastrous fame

~~

There’s nothing wrong with last name Vark

If you call your son Jake

But if Jonah’s the name you choose

That would be a mistake

~~

If you said Jen’s a plumb fine name

I might have thus replied,

I think that name quite fine unless

Your last name is O’Side

~~

Handbasket as last name is rare

and most first names work great

but Helena with this last name

is at best second-rate

~~

A noble line the Boyal clan

be proud if it’s your name

but if you call your first son Lance

you should feel certain shame

~~

Your daughter may become one day

a doctor fine indeed

but if your surname’s Kwak don’t call

her Ima, this I plead

~~

If your last name’s already Meth

you’re prob’ly teased enough

but if Crystal you call your girl

her whole life will be rough

~~

In case your child’s often late

and your last name is Thyme

a name like Justin would be cruel

and thus I end this rhyme

This poem was posted for dVerse and for my friend Launie Stare who reminded me recently of a “Top Ten Worst Names” list that I did a few years back

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14 thoughts on “Names

    • I’m related to some Ducks. Different spelling, but pronounced the same. It’s actually a fairly common name around here…but Dick Dick would not be a great name. I also know a Harry Funk. Harry is NOT an abbreviation either.

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