If you’re a parent soon to be

Beware of your last name

The moniker you give your child

Could spell disastrous fame


There’s nothing wrong with last name Vark

If you call your son Jake

But if Jonah’s the name you choose

That would be a mistake


If you said Jen’s a plumb fine name

I might have thus replied,

I think that name quite fine unless

Your last name is O’Side


Handbasket as last name is rare

and most first names work great

but Helena with this last name

is at best second-rate


A noble line the Boyal clan

be proud if it’s your name

but if you call your first son Lance

you should feel certain shame


Your daughter may become one day

a doctor fine indeed

but if your surname’s Kwak don’t call

her Ima, this I plead


If your last name’s already Meth

you’re prob’ly teased enough

but if Crystal you call your girl

her whole life will be rough


In case your child’s often late

and your last name is Thyme

a name like Justin would be cruel

and thus I end this rhyme

This poem was posted for dVerse and for my friend Launie Stare who reminded me recently of a “Top Ten Worst Names” list that I did a few years back


14 thoughts on “Names

    • I’m related to some Ducks. Different spelling, but pronounced the same. It’s actually a fairly common name around here…but Dick Dick would not be a great name. I also know a Harry Funk. Harry is NOT an abbreviation either.

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