Thorson Thorkelson The Thord – Part 5 – Thorson Writes a Letter

To read from the beginning of the story, click here

After talking with his dad, Thorson wasted no time in starting to write to Bertha.  He quickly discovered, though, that writing a love letter can be quite challenging…especially writing to someone who did not yet know he existed.

My Dearest Bertha, he began, and then scratched that out.  She might be dear to him, but she might get spooked and throw the letter away without reading any further.

To Ms. VonEngle…no, too formal

He finally decided on Dear Bertha.  It didn’t have the stuffy formal tone to it, but it wasn’t too sappy either.

After numerous attempts at the right phrasing, and numerous rejections of those phrases, he finally came up with something that he though he could send…

Dear Bertha, 

My name is Thorson Thorkelson The Third.  I’m not the 3rd in a line of Thorson Thorkelsons…I’m the very first Thorson Thorkelson, but my last name is The Third (that’s why I capitalize the “T” in The).  Sorry, I’m not very good at explaining that in letters.

The reason that I am writing you this letter is that, this morning, I went to see the movie The Disaster in which you did such a wonderful job.  I hope you don’t think I’m creepy.  I don’t want you to think I’m a stalker, or anything, but I couldn’t help but think that you are about the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen.

I know that you live down in Washington, and I live up in Canada (in a province called Saskatchewan (it sounds kindof like sas-CATCH-oo-on) in the small town of Armpit.

I don’t know if you ever come to Canada, but if you ever find yourself in Saskatchewan, I would really like to meet you.  I hope if you can’t come here, I hope that I can find a way of getting down to visit with you.

How old are you?  I’m 13 and a half.  By the way, my friends all call me Thorson Thorkelson the Thord because “Thord” sounds better, I guess.  Of course, they don’t always call me the whole thing…usually they just call me “Thord”

What do you like to do when you’re not making movies?  How many movies have you been in?

I know this letter probably sounds pretty stupid…but I had to write you, since you’re so pretty!  I hope that we can be really good friends.

Your fan, 

Thorson Thorkelson The Third

He had wanted to write “Love” instead of “Your fan”, but he thought that might be pushing it a bit too far.

He wasn’t too sure about if he should show his dad or not, but finally decided to, as his dad had been pretty cool about it when he had first mentioned Bertha to him.

When he went out of his room, he found that his dad was taking a break from doing his upside-down jigsaw puzzle.  Instead, he was in the kitchen making a picture with coffee beans.

“Dad, what do you think of my letter?

Mr. The Third read through the letter, scratching his beard as he did so…finally he said, “well, she probably won’t get a restraining order against you for this…just remember, she doesn’t know you, so she might not fall madly in love with you, but go ahead and give it a shot!  Just remember…you’re sending this letter out of country, so make sure you put enough postage on it!”

Thorson was thankful for that last piece of advice, as he honestly didn’t send letters very often (but somehow he didn’t think that introducing himself to Bertha via facebook was the best idea), so he would have probably just grabbed any old stamp and had the letter returned before it even went anywhere.

Finally, after googling Blue Parakeet Pictures and finding their mailing address, he dropped his letter (with sufficient postage) into the mailbox on the corner.  Now he had to wait to find out what Bertha’s response would be.  Oh how he hoped that there would be a response.

~~to be continued~~  (part 6 is here)


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